Fall isn’t going exactly as I had planned. I’ve had less class work and more free time than I’d like, which is a bad combination for me. My mind starts drifting to places it shouldn’t; I worry about mistakes I cannot change in the past, and all the things I could be doing now to prepare for the future. With too much time and too many ideas with how to fill it, little gets done.
I’ve drifted away from the present and feel suspended in limbo, just like a leaf helplessly carried by water. I need to rekindle a feeling of purpose in the things I do, from tennis and music, to classes and job applications. I want to feel and see the change I’m making in people’s lives again.
Today was the first time this semester that I took out my camera to shoot. I didn’t go very far- I stopped by a puddle a few yards away from my dorm, but I felt connected to one of the hobbies I love for the first time in a while. Today I took the first step towards finding my purpose again.